Everyone Is A Life Coach-NOT!

Yes, I know. To end a sentence with a giant, capitalized NOT is very 1992 and reminds us all of a time when Pearl Jam was selling out arenas and Lethal Weapon movies were on the marquee of the local theater. But let's face it, we all know what it means and, just like No Whammies Big Bucks (sorry, shameless plug), it may be a bit out of date but it will never lose its meaning.

I was inspired to write this article after a recent discussion with two of my colleagues in the personal development/health & wellness field. Both of these women possess a drive and an inner light that have quickly drawn me to them and I jumped at the opportunity to join them for a late dinner on a recent chilly night in New England.

As we sat around the candlelit table enjoying a bottle of red wine, the conversation naturally turned towards what got us all into doing what we did for a living. One of the women, lets call her Anne, had studied science and metaphysics at a top university and had developed a fascination with the way the universe, the planet and all people are connected. She pursued this interest by studying everything from yoga to meditation to massage and beyond. As I sat and listened to her plans to travel to Thailand in order to study further and eventually create an all natural resort that will benefit the locals as well as tourists, I fell in love with her passion and immediately became grateful for the connection to her.

The other woman, we shall call her Elizabeth, is a massage therapist whom I had the pleasure of meeting through a meditation group. She is the mother of three and has one of the most radiant and permanent smiles I believe I have ever seen. And that means a lot coming from a game show host! I label her smile as beautiful not because she has perfect teeth but because it is genuine. During her bodywork sessions she pays close attention to all aspects of the clients energy. Her mission during each therapeutic hour is not only to work out the kinks in your neck but to relax and rejuvenate your mind, body and soul.

I loved hearing about the paths they had taken that had led them to where we all now sat. They shared a long friendship and it was a joy to watch them work off of each other in practice and in conversation. When it came to be my turn to talk about Todd Newton Life Strategies and how I got into personal development, I told the story that I have told many times in interviews, to clients and to colleagues. Its really nothing special. I never hit rock bottom. I never lost it all only to regain it. I've never been so moved by a guru that I felt the need to give back to my fellow man. I've simply always found great strength through speakers, authors and coaches and felt I had the beginnings of becoming one myself. My story is not nearly as sexy as other coaches will lead you to believe theirs to be. I love all aspects of my life and believe in the philosophies that have gotten me to where I am. Focus, family, hard work, integrity, compassion, self-reliance, mentorships and instincts are what I practice and what I preach. After reaching a point in my life where I had concrete evidence of these beliefs providing positive outcomes in my life I felt compelled to offer them to others who might also find them to be of use.

Being a TV personality has given me a bit of a jump start on others in the world of personal development in that I had a built in platform. You see, when I decided I wanted to do this I knew I wanted to be the best. Most of consider the same names to be the top of the heap with it comes to motivation and inspiration. Names like Tony Robbins, Jim Rohn, Wayne Dyer and countless others are the MVPs of this game. I've always been most moved by Tony. I first listened to his tapes and CDs in my early 20's. I connected with him because we both spent a large portion of our bachelorhoods in Venice Beach, CA. I love how he has turned motivation into an empire. He takes some heat for being "too commercial" but I think its that very packaging that has exposed millions of people to his work that otherwise may never have stumbled upon it. When I attended my first Tony Robbins seminar in Las Vegas, NV, I knew instantly that I was going to one day electrify stages in the same fashion. Now I do. Being on television certainly doesn't hurt when it comes to booking speaking engagements and gathering Google hits.

Whatever Tony did I was going to do. I'm not copying him or imitating him...I'm modeling his process. When someone is doing something you want to do and doing it well it makes perfect sense to follow their patterns. Tony preaches this very tactic. Tony studied the framework and techniques of effective coaching. I became a certified coach and acquired those same skills. Tony is a Master NLP practitioner and utilizes its many aspects in his seminars. I am a Master NLP Practitioner and have seen the benefits of anchoring and changing emotional states in more clients than I can count. Tony mixes in a little conversational hypnosis when on stage in front of a sold out arena crowd. I'm an advanced clinical hypnotherapist who is still waiting to get booked at Madison Square Garden-but I am working on it. Most importantly, Tony cares and wants every man, woman and child to be a happy and productive person. I think we all can come together on that one.

And that brings me to the point of this article. If you're reading this then chances are you are a coach yourself. I'm sure you are passionate and more than qualified to assist your treasured clients on their journeys to greatness. I'm certain that you are continuously reading about new coaching techniques, attending seminars, building your brand, networking with other coaches and furthering our multi-million dollar industry in the most respectful and professional of ways. If this is you, then you are who I am writing to. On the flip side, if you are someone who got a wild hair one day and decided that Tweeting quotes by Thoreau and Mother Theresa qualifies you to charge ambitious and passionate people hundreds of dollars a month just to chat with you on the phone then you are who I am writing about.

Don't get me wrong. I love living in a country where we all have the liberty and luxury of pursuing any career we choose. Becoming a life coach is a noble calling and one that should be taken on with great respect and responsibility. A respect not only for the craft of coaching but also for those who will one day become clients that depend on us to know what we are doing.

We all agree that we are not therapists, consultants or counselors. What many who enter our field seem to be confused by is that we are also not meant to be advice givers. I once met a woman who decided she was going to add "life coach" to a resume that included image expert, entrepreneur and author. After getting to know her a little better, I came to realize that although she had started a couple of businesses she had lost them both due to poor management and a lack of entrepreneurial vision. Her experience as an image expert included little more than talking with her girlfriends about what she thought looked good in the latest issue of Vogue Magazine. And, as an author, she has yet to publish a single piece of work. Now, with time on her hands and a need for additional income, she had decided to...drumroll please... become a life coach!

There are countless outlets from which to receive coach training and certifications. They come in different ranges of tuition and offer different types of schedules. Whether one is better than the other is a matter of opinion, of course, but I thoroughly enjoyed my training and pointed her in that direction. I also passed on a book title or two that I had found beneficial in building my practice. After several weeks I asked what type of training she planned on pursuing and was taken aback by her response.

"I'm not going to pay for training. Its pretty expensive. Besides, there's no right or wrong way to coach," she said.

That was it. Her mind was made up. She didn't need any instruction. She had no desire to work with established coaches. She updated her website, started Tweeting inspirational quotes and fluffed her bio on the free listing sites with made up testimonials. Thus a new life coach was born.

I don't fault this woman for taking this approach to life coaching. Again, last time I checked it was still a free country. As a matter of fact, a gig that you can do over the phone from your kitchen table in your pajamas probably sounds pretty darn good to just about anyone. But what about her clients? What about the young man or woman on a tight budget who just graduated from college and hires a coach in search of direction? What about the new parent who is struggling to find that precious balance between work and home? What about the employee who feels stuck? What about the manager who wants to improve his leadership capabilities? What about them? They deserve more than a coach who feels qualified to assist anyone who answers her ad because "she's always been the one her friends came to for advice."

In the wonderful book Talent Is Overrated author Geoff Colvin stresses that no one is born great at anything. While some may have some obvious advantages over others, greatness is achieved through what he refers to as "deliberate practice." This is what made Tiger Woods a great golfer. Its what made Beethoven a great composer. And it is what makes Tony Robbins a personal development superstar. Deliberate Practice is finding exactly what needs to be learned and also precisely how to work on it. Its not easy as it requires what every good coach speaks of and lives with...PASSION.

My goal with this article is to encourage all of my fellow coaches to revisit and reignite your passion for what we do NOW. Before your next coaching call or sample session, close your eyes and put yourself into that powerful state that you were in when your first said to yourself "Yes. This is something I was meant to do. I'm going to make a difference in lives of people I've never even met. I'm going to do this right!" Remember the rush you experienced the first time you heard a great speaker or the first time you had an "a-ha" moment with your own coach? That is passion and we must never lose it or take it for granted. It is that passion that sets us apart and serves as the key ingredient in those of us who dedicated a part of our lives to becoming Life Changers and Dream Makers.

I do not believe in the concept of perfection. I believe that there is always room for growth, improvement and learning and I invite you to join me in making a commitment today to always be the best coaches we can be. We are fortunate to work in an area where competition should not be present among each other but only within ourselves. Competition to be even better and more effective than we were on the last call. That gives us the gift of control.

Yes, I am proud and protective of our industry. I have shared those golden moments with clients and heard the magic of a shift in their voices. Though I do not rely on coaching as my main source of financial income, I believe in the value of our services and have come to rely upon it as a source of emotional income.

No. Everyone is not a life coach. Nor is everyone a doctor, a landscaper or a dental hygienist. I mean to offend or insult no one with this article. Instead I mean to inspire those I am writing about to find the passion to now become one that I am writing to